Pattaya Daily News

07 June 2006 :: 16:06:09 pm 22485

So You Want To Marry A Lovely Thai Lady?

Interacial marriages between Thai and Westerner can sometimes be a Bliss, provided, of course, you have the right marriage ingredients.
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True, there are many examples of happy marriages between Farangs and Thais. But there are many, many more instances of relationships that have quickly gone on the rocks of love. Why? Well, I will tell you.?When an, often quite old, Farang looks at a beautiful, young, smiling, sexy Thai lady, his heart goes out to her. He is in love. He wants to be with her for the rest of his life. Yes, he?s heard the horror stories about such relationships, but his is different. He feels young again, and thanks to good old Viagra, can perform between the sheets to her obvious satisfaction. An ugly, bald, overweight git like him, could never get a bird like her, in his Homeland. No chance!.

He?s a bit reluctant to accept that he will be expected to support her 2 kids, by an absent Thai ?husband? who has no intention of ever supporting them. That?s quite normal in LOS( Land of Smiles).?And her Mama and Papa who look after the little ones, at home in the village, are sweet old things. They won?t cost a lot each month, surely?..WRONG!?Anyway, it?ll be a small price to pay for a life of wedded bliss in Paradise.

Now, when a lovely young Thai girl, looks at a Farang, like him, she doesn?t see an ugly, fat old man. She sees an ATM Machine. It?s money she needs, not love.?She?s had that from her Thai man in the past, until he got drunk, and beat her up once too often.?But in spite of bad treatment, most Thai women would rather have a Thai husband. If he was well off and kind. But, sadly, so few are. So a ?Good Farang? (and that means one with lots of excess cash) is the answer to a Thai maidens prayer, in Pattaya, and elsewhere, today.?

?? Anyway, ignoring all advice, our friend takes his ?Darling? to the local Amphur (Registry Office) and gets hitched. But that?s not it. No, sir. He must now proceed to her Village, and give her dear Mama anything between 75000 and 250000 Baht, for a big traditional wedding ceremony, than can last up to three days! During which, he will sit, dressed-up to the nines, in a hired Thai outfit, feeling a right Charlie, as the whole village enjoys the?fruits of his hard earned savings. Thai Whisky is cheap, and gallons of it and masses of Food of all kinds soon disappears down the throats of hundreds of cavorting Villagers.?The only thing to do to do in such circumstances, is to join them into oblivion. ?.When in Rome, etc?

?? Eventually, with considerable effort, he manages to tear his beloved wife away from her Tribe and Kids, who are really sweet, well behaved and polite, as most Thai children are, and head back to Pattaya.?

?? Now, I didn?t mention this before, but for five years previously, she had been a Go Go Dancer, and the first time he saw her in the Bar, she was sitting on a customers lap virtually naked, stroking his?..you know.?
Back home, he would no more have considered marrying a Prostitute, which is what she was, than fly. But, here in Thailand, the majority of girls on the game, are delightful. Not at all like most of those hard bitten whores in other lands, who go in for boring sex. (A friend tells me that once, whilst he was busy proving he was potent,, the girl started eating an apple).But I digress.?She, the wife once told him that she hated the Go Go life. Had only done it, to feed her impoverished family back home. That was probably true. It is the custom here for the children, when they leave school, and they start earning money, to support their Mama and Papa. That?s why most females have children at a very early age. It?s her insurance policy in a way. ? I look after you when you are young, and you look after me when I am old?. No Nanny State in Thailand, to cosset you in your dotage.?

?? Anyway, the happy pair (both having got what they wanted) now settle down to what he believes will be a life of Love and Happiness.

?? Times in the bedroom are fine, and she is a great cook.

He looks at her adoringly, as she cleans the place until it shines, and enthusiastically washes his clothes. Thai people love cleaning. They are a very hygienic race altogether. I have never smelled BO on a Thai.?But this lovely lady, has had good cause to complain, about one, or two, of his Farang pals.??Oh! He very stink!??

Mostly, things are fine???He is a happy man.?

Then one fine day, and the climate in Pattaya is very pleasant, there is a knock on the door. She shrieks with delight. It?s her favorite brother, come to stay for a few days. ?You mind Darlin?? ?No not at all? he says. ?Welcome brother-in-law?. Wais, and big smiles all round .?

Two months later ?the brother-in-law,?is still in residence. Eating, and drinking himself silly, keeping the Air Con unit in his room on full blast, 24hrs a day, and always occupying the best chair in the lounge. They have no privacy now. The husband sits there, night after night, trying to watch Real Madrid and the News on TV, whilst his missus, and her brother, chatter loudly, and laugh virtually non-stop (they?d win a Gold Medal in the Talking Olympics if there was one, he mutters angrily to himself) . Finally,?he simply can?t take it any more. But he wants to avoid a blazing row. So he goes to a local bar, to work out a plan of action.?

Well, he?s just downing the second Leo lager, when out of the corner of his eyes, he spots a couple of guys, grinning at him, derisively. ?What?s so funny gents?? he asks.
?You? the younger one replies.
?Me??You find me funny do you??
?Yeh. Allowing your wife?s old boyfriend to live with you, is rather amusing?.?

 What? He nearly chokes on the last mouthful of beer, at this awful revelation.?

Well, to cut a long story short, after that it is down hill, all the way to the Divorce Court. Where he discovers to his horror, that ?the Missus? is entitled, in Thai Law, to half of everything he owns.??

Have you, dear reader, learned something from this salutary tale? I really do hope so, because such things happen in LOS, all too often, to us Stupid Farangs.

To recap:?Just as long as you keep on dishing out the cash for whatever reason, and?you give her all her own way, whilst allowing her family, and friends, to invade your home on a regular basis. Well, she?ll probably be a very good Wife and companion??.

But, Thai culture, is good in many ways, but it?s a lot different from yours my friend, and it can be hell, at times, for those Farangs who must endure it!?

Reporter : PDN staff   Photo : Internet   Category : Lifestyle

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