Pattaya Daily News

25 November 2010 :: 10:11:48 am 46584

Living With Insecurity And Control

There are people who are in a constant battle with their insecurities, having a fear of being rejected and left alone and so lash out at people and things that they feel they are able to control.
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The ways in which these people behave, make it virtually impossible to be in a continuous relationship or friendship as they will feel constantly threatened by those who posses something that they wish for such as close friendship with others, charisma, a good position in work or society, money, fame, beauty or material objects.

Insecurity comes from a fear which results in not being able to find contentment, because they are too busy watching and secretly wanting what they cannot have.

These insecure people have great difficulty in socializing with people equal to them or those they have to look up too and so seek out those with a social status below them. They do not like to admit failure and are not prepared to learn from mistakes and so tend to disregard rules and authority because they know they are unable to conform to them. Given a position of authority they can and usually do become an autocrat

Anyone who tries to get close to these insecure people either in the form of a relationship or merely as a close friend will find themselves being on the receiving end of accusations of undermining their authority and your loyalty will be constantly under question. They will hold you accountable for everything they do not agree with, sometimes involving others by suggestive remarks in the hope of getting them on their side. They like to be in control.

Having a friend or a member of your family who has an insecure partner can cause trouble by targeting you as a problem and brainwashing them into believing that any problems that are visible is being caused by you.

Insecure people are in constant need of people around them and do not appreciate being told the truth about their situation or their lack of success. They want constant attention and love, to talk continuously about their life, of what they have or have not done and appear to keep repeating themselves with the same old drivel.

If you want to maintain your sanity then you need to know when to give up and walk away. Let them have the last word. If the insecure person is married to you then of course the situation is a little different

You cannot change someone if that person doesn’t want to know. They will need and must want to have counseling or there is no hope to boost his or her self esteem. Without some sort of help or counseling, they will drag you down to their level or even worse, into a deep depression and they will never find any satisfaction or happiness in their lives and will continue to try in belittling and controlling all who cross his or her path.

They are in desperate need of control in any way possible.

Reporter : PDN staff   Photo : Internet   Category : Lifestyle

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