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Pattaya Daily News

13 November 2008 :: 21:11:12 pm 1565

Lek, Baby, Are You There?

Can you hear me, baby? My world was black. A deep, inky canvas was all I could see. Sounilluminated were my surroundings that I couldn‘t tell if my eyes were pen or closed. Was I walking or running or was I laying down? I absolutely couldn‘t tell since I was floating in nothingness.
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Though I considered myself a brave man, fear was pumping through my veins. Something was terribly wrong. When I tried to feel my way around in the dark I couldn’t move my arms or legs. I tried to scream for help but it was only audible inside my head because I couldn’t move my mouth.

What the fuck was going on?
SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME! Then I heard the familiar voice of my wife, Lek. She was there somewhere.

Lek, Baby, are you there? How are the boys? Where are they? Can you hear me, Baby? She couldn’t hear me. She was talking to someone else.

“So there were no witnesses at all ?” Lek asked. “I can’t believe nobody saw anything.””It happens, Lek,” said another voice. “The cops said they’ll canvas the area and keep thier eyes out for similar attacks, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Our best hope is that John can recover enough to give us something to go on.” It was Bob, my friend.

Why the hell were they talking about the cops? A mugging? Then I remembered walking to my car in the parking garage. I’d worked late again because I just couldn’t face going home. The corporate spreadsheets were more interesting to me than going home to my world of anger and fighting.

The garage was deserted when I felt something smash down on my back. In a flash I was on the pavement and getting kicked and pounded by some thugs. I tried to fight back but my arms and legs exploded in searing pain and before I could scream I felt my jaw get smashed by a wooden stick or cub or something. It all happened so fast I never got a good look at them or even knew how many there were.

I was convinced I was going to be killed as I lost consciousness. All of my thoughts at that moment were of my wife and boys. Who would take care of them? They needed me. I’d been so stupid over the years and wished I’d been better to them, especially Lek.

Doctor, how long might he be like this?”
Lek sounded worried. She wasn’t prepared for this. How could she be? I took care of everything for us. I have got to get out of here.

My poor Lek. My poor boys, Jonathan and Josh.
“He’s in a coma,” he sighed. “There’s severe damage to the head and of course massive internal injuries.”

“But he can recover, right?” Bob asked.
“It’s possible, but- eh, not probable.”

“Can he hear us? May I talk to him?”
“I don’t think he can hear you in the manner you’re referring, but familiar voices are good for comatose patients.”

I can hear you! Can you hear me? Lek? Can you hear me, Baby?
Damn. I was laying helpless in a fucking hospital bed. I could hear Lek crying and the doctor whispering encouragement to her. She was scared. I was scared. What about my boys? They won’t have a father.

Not a real father. I can’t be a vegetable. Oh god, I have got to get better and get out of this. I CAN HEAR YOU BABY! I CAN HEAR YOU. TALK TO ME.

“I love you, John,” she said as I felt her faintly kiss my forehead.
I wanted to reach up and kiss her but I couldn’t move. Was I crying? No. I never cried. I wanted to cry, though. Oh how I wanted to cry. Was I ever going to get a chance to be a good husband and father again?

For fourteen years I’d been married to a beautiful woman. Lek had Long black hair which fell to just above her shoulders, framing an angelic face. She was the type of woman everyone noticed; curvaceous but delicately so. It was easy to picture her above my hospital bed in her white little top and her black designer jeans. If only I’d told her how much I loved her a little more often. Instead, I let my jealousy cloud my judgement and we spent so much time fighting and arguing in the ugliest of ways.

Deep down I knew she was faithful to me but yet I was so insecure I’d lash out at her in an effort to make myself feel better and to control her every move. It had to be hard on the boys seeing our fights and living in a house dominated by rage.

God? Can you hear me? I know I’ve never been one to believe in you but if you can help me recover I promise to do better on so many fronts, especially my family. Please hear me.

” I’ll be back in a while to check on things.” It was the doctor’s voice.
“We’ll need you to come give us a statement when you’re up to it, okay ?” I heard a snapping sound, perhaps the cop’s notebook.

Lek didn’t reply and neither did Bob, she probably nodded with tears in her eyes. Were they gone? I didn’t hear Bob said anything for a while, he might be gone too.

Was it just my wife and I now? I so badly wanted to tell her that if I somehow get out of this I’m going to be a better husband. No more fights. No more anger. I’ll never hurt you again, Lek. Never. Ever. We’ll live happily and cherish the good things we have. Oh Lek, do you hear me? Can you hear me, Baby?

Then I felt her hand on my face. Oh it felt wonderful to feel her touching me. I’ve never been affectionate enough with her. Things are going to be different when I recover. I’ll treat her so good. We’ll make things better together- kind words instead of insults, honesty instead of lies, appreciation instead of accusations and soft caresses instead of-

“Can you hear me, Baby?” It was Lek. She was kissing my cheek. Her lips felt comforting. Was I crying? No, I don’t cry.

Yes. Yes I hear you. Oh I want you so badly right now. Lek, I want to make tender love to you. It will be sweet romance for us when I recover, I swear to you.

“Oh, John, I hope you can hear me.” She kissed my ear softly, letting her tongue slip just inside then suckled the lobe softly before gently biting it. “Do you know what, John, my love?”

What Baby? Talk to me. Please keep talking to me. I’m scared here in the dark. I need you. I’ve always needed you. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you more often. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you better.

“I screwed up again,” she whispered. “You always said I was a screw up, huh?”
I never meant it, Lek. Please know that. I love you.

“I should have hired someone more efficient. You were supposed to be killed, not beaten into a house plant.”

What? What the fuck? Was I hearing this right?
“But this worked out. I’ve put some money aside and so I don’t need you dead yet.
Then later when all hope is gone, we’ll mercifully turn you off and let you rest.
Oh yes, that will be a sad day, but we’ll be strong.”
Lek was laughing quietly.
“The insurance money will help us get past our grief.

You fucking bitch!
I went to hit her but my arm didn’t move. I couldn’t teach her a fucking lesson this time. Oh you just wait, you whore. I will beat the shit out of you.

“Can you hear me Baby? I hope so. I bet you’re so pissed off, huh? You’ll never beat me again, John. Never. I hope you lay there in torment for years.”

I could feel her move away and leave the room. I was alone. So alone. God I wanted to beat her damn face in and bash her head into a wall. Inside my body I could feel myself beating her, punishing her, bruising her skin as I so loved to do, but it was just in my mind.

I was trapped. It wasn’t her head I was bashing into a wall– it was mine!

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