Pattaya Daily News

16 March 2010 :: 16:03:21 pm 15830

Jessica Simpson & Crew Bliss Out In Thailand

American superstar actress and TV personality, Jessica Simpson, on a global romp to film her new virtual reality show "The Price of Beauty," stopped off in Thailand to take a lesson from the beauty-conscious Thais; the subject of the first episode of the show, shown in the US on VH1 TV on Monday evening, March 15, 2010.
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In the manner typical of Americans, Jessica, her hairstylist and best friend, were ‘blown out’ when exposed to the realities of the Thai beauty treatments in Bangkok. In the quest to find out what different women across the globe define as beauty, the trio were first taken for a Thai massage at a Mandara Spa. Surprise, surprise, they found it painful. Just as well they didn’t go for the full deep massage, they might not have emerged with all their limbs intact.

The next port of call on their itinerary took them to fortune teller in Wang Lang Market who told Jessica she was lucky in love. Perhaps the canny fortune teller had read the Playboy interview in which she was dubbed ‘sexual napalm’. Or perhaps being lucky love-wise is what they tell all their clients, as the Pattaya versions, seated at significant points round the city, obviously tell the bar-girls!

For their next little treat, the trio are exposed to the protein-rich delicacies of grasshoppers, scorpions, water bugs and other creepy crawlies; the specialty of Esarn. Apparently, believing anything they are told, they accept the bug-vendor’s explanation that eating such fried delights will enhance their beauty! The white-wash treatment that all Thai ladies simply appear to love, judging by the plethora of ads in the media, follows. The urge to look Chinese and thus hi-so is a reasonable volte face to everyone yearning to get a tan, one supposes. Is it as carcinogenic though? The answer is probably in the affirmative, considering all the secret ingredients of the whitening treatments.

A hair-raising ride by tuk tuk was next, driven by a driver from hell, completely ya-ba-bor-bor, or totally insane, after consuming 50 methamphetamine tabs. Not, surprisingly, they all get totally freaked out by his cornering antics and probably don’t emerge as dry as when they commenced their journey.

All then trudge into a wat, to take a short trip into their inner depths by meditating. One hopes they were all suitably attired so as not to arouse the monks. Apparently, Jessica was surprised and not a little frustrated by the length of the meditation session. She probably only expected it to last 5 minutes, judging by her normal external attention span.

One can’t come to Thailand without a quick jumbo ride and this all three did. Here, apparently, she had the audacity to declare that the elephant’s head looked like a giant scrotum. What that had to do with beauty tours, one dreads to think. Perhaps it was supposed to illustrate the antithesis of beauty, judging by her expletives. Finally, the trio, probably not a little overheated by this time, were taken to see the Karen Long Necks, exploited for the tourists’ benefit as usual.

One hopes Jessica and her crew learnt some valuable lessons in her Thai adventure. Though one fears it was all the bubble experience that tourists so often have when exposed to life outside their little existential niches.

Taliesin Verity
Chief-Reporter
news@pattayadailynews.com

Photo : Internet   Category : World News

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