Pattaya Daily News

13 March 2010 :: 16:03:31 pm 15574

Is Your Partner Cheating On You?

Have you ever had the feeling that your partner is cheating on you? More often, it is just in your mind, but there are times when your partner/spouse suddenly developed changes in their behavior.
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Defining the word cheating can be very tricky. To many people, cheating mean having sex outside of a relationship or marriage. The first thing to do or not to do is never point the finger without proof.  Once proof has been established, then point away.  Unfortunately you may never find any evidence that your partner is cheating on you, especially if it is not happening in your bed.

Secondly, what do you do once you have the information that proves infidelity? Well you would certainly be a teensy bit pissed, so you could piss your partner off until they admit they are cheating or shove the evidence directly under their nose.

How would you go about finding proof that your partner is cheating without the expense of an investigator? Well apart from them saying “Oh Sally” or “Oh Steve” when your name is Julie or Bob (whilst in the throws of passion,) which is often joked about, there are quite a few cheating signs. One or two signs could possibly mean a change in lifestyle, but more than that can give good reason for suspicion.

Common signs are working longer hours, he/she seem busier,  goes out more often coming home extremely late and suddenly he/she does not appear to have time for you.  The same name may crop up more during conversations with the person being in the same place, same office or same gym as your partner.  Keep demanding your partner spend more time with you, eventually he/she may snap and confess.

The ever willing partner may decide that they are suddenly too tired for sex…could be they are already indulging in extra curriculum.  On the other hand, someone who is usually not interested may suddenly want more…..whether or not, here is a change in behavior patterns.

Other clues could be scratches or bites for which you are not responsible, they are dressing up smarter for work, the things they used to find attractive about you now annoy them, they find you irritating, maybe they can’t look at you directly or they are spending more time on the phone, going off out of earshot, closing their computer down when you appear, becoming grumpy at the slightest things. They may criticize the way you look or the way you do things. They may want to things they wouldn’t previously have done. Their expenditure may have increased and there may be more business trips. Perhaps they have learned a new move in bed. Constant bickering can also be a root cause.

 

Just bare in mind, never accuse without sufficient proof.  If you don’t lose your partner through infidelity, you may definitely lose them through constant accusations.

The feeling of being cheated on is one of the worst. Few things hurt as much as infidelity in a relationship. You may wonder if there is any point in laying a trap to catch a cheater, confront them then go through the process of breaking up when you can just scream and yell then leave taking sweet revenge on the way out, but it would be better if you are sure of the facts before any grand finale.

Whether or not the signs are visible, nothing can compare with the gut feeling. The way most cheaters are caught out is through text messages. Though many cheaters have been caught this way, they still fail to delete the suggestive messages on their mobiles which leave this to be a very efficient way to catch a cheater. If you are married to the cheat, you could ask for an itemized bill on the cell phone. It will give a list of all outgoing calls and even some incoming ones.

Drop by his or her place of work or class with the excuse of giving them a lift or going for a quick drink or spot of lunch. You will surprise them and maybe catch them red handed. Bombard you partner with questions not waiting to long in between for them to answer. Look for signs of hesitation. If you seriously believe your partner is cheating, sift through their emails and if you don’t know their password, use their computer their password and user name will be saved.

Marriage is sacred, or at least it is supposed to be and has always excited women whereas many men would run a mile. Most marriages go through rough patches with some couples coming out stronger than before with others going in different directions.  If you have visible proof that your partner has cheated, not just gut feelings, be prepared for the outcome. Always make sure you have the facts before accusing….this can not be stressed enough as continuously making false accusations can and will destroy the union. Some signs may be perfectly honest like stress, overload in work or perhaps their job is on the line. There are so many signs, but until you can get to the bottom of the problems, they are not grounds for accusations.

Patty Brown

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